The Science of Sonic the Hedgehog

The Science of Sonic the Hedgehog (previously titled Sonic/Zoology) is the 5th episode of Game Theory on The Game Theorists.

Description
''It's science meets Sonic! Is Sonic the fastest thing alive? What the heck is an echidna? And does anyone really remember Espio the Chameleon or Storm the Albatross? All that and more as we look at the animals of the Sonic franchise.''

Transcript
Take a break from your classic Nickelodeon and get ready to do what Nintendon’t, cuz we're taking a walk on the wild side. Hello Internet, welcome to game theory. Today, we're exploring the good, the bad, and the ugly of the sonic franchise to see what it's cute cast of critters, can teach us about their real-life counterparts. Are hedgehogs really the fastest things alive, what the heck is an echidna anyway, and if there's time, we'll dig deep to look at some of the forgotten members of Sonic's extended character roster. So, let's dive right in. What do we know about Sonic? Well he's blue, wears gnarly shoes, has about five or so spikes on his back, and can run really fast. How fast? Well, let's let his theme song do the talking. “Sonic, he’s the fastest thing alive.” So, I think it's safe to say that most of you watching know that hedgehogs can't be blue, and have more than just five spines on their backs. More like five thousand. You also probably know that they aren't the fastest. That title goes to the cheetah at 70 miles per hour on land, the peregrine falcon in the air at 185 miles per hour, and the sailfish underwater at 68. But obviously a cheetah can run faster because it's bigger with longer legs, so, what if we took into account, the relative size of each animal. Maybe then the hedgehog is the fastest. Well, it's a nice try but, no dice. Accounting for size, the winner is... the cockroach, because it can run 50 times its body length every second. That's like a human running at 185 miles per hour. It's a scary thought. That's not to say that hedgehogs are slow though. Unlike cheetahs that can only run in short bursts of time, hedgehogs have terrific running stamina, making around 4.5 miles per hour, which turns out to be about 6.6 times their body length every second. Definitely quick for a small guy, but hardly the fastest thing alive. So here's a quick quiz: what do Samus from Metroid and Sonic the Hedgehog have in common? I'll give you a second. Ready? They're both female. Surprised? Well, you should because it's a lie. The real answer is that they can both curl up into tiny balls. That and they both appear in Super Smash Brothers Brawl and have lots of creepy fan art dedicated to them, but that's beside the point. Beginning in Sonic 2, Sonic is able to rev up into a rolling spiked ball, and this, of all things is something hedgehogs can do. Not rev up, but, as a method of defense, the animal’s two back muscles can pull the spiky skin over its belly and face, creating a prickly ball. In extreme circumstances, the hedgehog can also roll to attack, though in most cases it will just choose to run away. So, it appears that there is something accurate about Sonic's characterization after all. What about Knuckles? The games teach us that echidnas are gliding, wall-crawling animals that can dig with massive spiked fists. Should we trust them? Similar to Sonic, Knuckles really only has one attribute in common with his brethren: it's the digging. Found in Australia, echidnas have long claws that they use to burrow and forage for food, but these claws don't come close to matching the design of the red guardian of the Master Emerald. Like the Hedgehog, they too are covered in spines, earning them the name, spiny anteater, and use rolling into a quill ball as a defense mechanism. But the echidna is much more than a hedgehog wannabe. Sega left out the most unique characteristics of the species, and for good reason. First their rear legs, are backwards. You heard that right, their front feet point forwards, and their back feet.. backwards. It's to help them dig faster, and it must work because they date back to the dinosaurs. But they also get even weirder. Like their closest relatives, the platypus, echidnas are monotremes, which means that they're mammals that lay eggs and hatch their young. The echidna and the platypus are the only two animals in the world to do this. Finally, and I'm sorry to bring this up, but it's just so odd that it had to be mentioned, they have a four-headed penis. Enough said. In any case, replacing a four-headed penis with the ability to glide, I'd say it's a fair trade. Well done Sega. Since there's not much time left, let's do a speed run through some of the overlooked members of the Sonic menagerie. Ready? Go. First, Tails, the adorable mutant. What type of a fox is he? According to Absolute Anime, he's a fennec fox, but I disagree. Let's compare pictures, fennecs are known for their oversized ears and black tipped tail. Tails's ears are proportional to his head, and his tail has a white tip. His coloration of red-orange, white tipped tail, and vertical oval pupils all point in the direction of him being a red fox. Second, Rouge the buxom bat, Knuckles’s rival/love interest. I guess no one told her about the you-know-what, or maybe they did. Anyway, is there such a thing as a white bat? Absolutely. Take away the bustier and hooker boots, there's plenty of creepy fan art to do it for you, and Rouge looks like a dead ringer for the honduran white bat, a snowy white fluff ball with yellow nose and ears. The Honduran White Bat also been said to have inspired the woobat from the newest strain of Pokemon. Next. How about Espio the chameleon, ever heard of him? No, well, he had the power to change into all sorts of 90s tastic colors in Knuckles’ Chaotix. So, can a chameleon turn purple? According to National Geographic, yes, they can change into practically any color. Chameleons have layers of special pigment cells under their skin called chromatophores. The top layers are red and yellow, the bottom blue and white. Signals from the brain tell these cells to either grow or shrink, which causes a mixing of the pigments, much like paint, and can take as little as 20 seconds. Finally, we come to Storm the albatross from Sonic Riders. Yeah, we're really digging deep. He's the big, dumb, but fiercely loyal member of the Babylon Rogues, an avian group of thieves. Real albatrosses are similar. They are known to live in colonies with other birds, so flying alongside a hawk and swallow in the Sonic games is accurate. And, unlike other animals, they are very dedicated to their partners, as shown through the lifelong pair bonds that they make with their mates. As far as being big and dumb, the giant albatross has the largest wingspan of any living bird, but, these wings give them some trouble with takeoff and landing, making them look really silly. And that my friends is all you ever needed to know about sonic zoology, bringing us to, my final thought. It's common to hear gamers mourn the loss of Sonic, with more emphasis on supporting characters like Rouge, the chaotix, and the babylon rogues, and the increasingly desperate attempts at reinvention, many consider Sonic to be one of the most beaten dead horses in the gaming industry, and bizarrely enough, real life offers deep insight into this. The first Sonic game was released in June of 1991. Sonic and Knuckles, considered by many to be the last great Sonic game, came three and a half years later, in October of 1994. The average lifespan for a hedgehog? I kid you not, three and a half years. But let's take it one step further. The Dreamcast games, Sonic's triumphant jump to 3D were also very well received with Sonic Adventure 2 being the last, before the waves of odd design choices and bad reviews hit him in the ‘00s. Adventure 2 was released ten years after the original. Is it a coincidence then, that the maximum lifespan of a hedgehog is nine years? Art imitates life, unintentionally. Anyway, it's just a theory. A game theory. Thanks for watching.

Trivia

 * The outro song was a combination of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" and Howard Drossin's "Flying Battery Zone Part 1" from Sonic and Knuckles.